...I'm going to really try to get the formatting to behave this time :-)

So, backstory. Coworker A was working on a file yesterday that had her
looking at property near a street named Werewolf Path, in a very
forest-y area. So being geeks, we giggled about it for a bit and went
back to work. So today, she's working on a file where the property is in
a similarly wooded patch of our home state, so I asked if they lived
near the werewolf, she corrected me on the state difference, we giggled
and went back to work. I happened to mention a jar of hummus she'd given
me and forgot to bring home, but that I'd brought some bread today so
that I could just make my lunch at my desk, so it was cool. She replied,
I misunderstood, and the following exchange took place (over the next...
40 minutes? Shutup!We're working, honest!)

Me:WHEN YOUR EMAIL POPPED FROM MY SYSTRAY "GLAD IT WENT
TO GOOD USE" I DIDN'T REMEMBER I'D MENTIONED THE HUMMUS SO I WAS JUST
PUZZLING AT YOUR PHRASING... LIKE GOOD THING YOU HAVE ME THOSE PEOPLE'S
ADDRESSES SO I CAN MAKE SURE THEIR AREA'S FREE OF WEREWOLVES... AND THEN
I'M THINKING BUT WAIT, WHAT IF THERE *ARE* WEREWOLVES? I'M RELATIVELY
CERTAIN THE WINCHESTERS ARE FICTIONAL *TEAR* SO I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHO
I COULD CALL TO DEAL WITH IT, SO AM I REALLY EQUIPPED TO BE DEALING WITH
THIS? AND COVENTRY ISN'T THAT BAD, BUT NEW YORK STATE? CAN I REALLY MAKE
THAT DRIVE? I'VE NEVER FIRED A REAL GUN BEFORE... AND HOW DO I TRACK
DOWN WHO'S CHANGING...


AND THEN I OPENED THE EMAIL AND REALIZED YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT FOOD.


BUT NOW I'M STILL WORRIED.

Coworker A:LOL XD, I LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT WEREWOLVES
ARE MORE LIKE THE ONES IN TEEN WOLF OR TWILIGHT, AND THEY'RE JUST
SHIFTER TYPES THAT CAN TURN INTO WOLVES, NO LUNACY OR CRAZY MAN-EATING
AND STUFF.

Me:WELL, IF IT MAKES THE NEWS, I'D HAVE TO BE
CONCERNED. 'CAUSE IN THEORY THEN, 'SHIFTERS WOULD KNOW TO REIN
THEMSELVES IN AND NOT GO ABOUT MAULING/KILLING PEOPLE, SO I WOULDN'T
HEAR THE NEWS AND WOULDN'T BE SPURRED INTO ACTION. OR IF THEY WERE LIKE
OZ PRE-TIBET, WHERE HE COULDN'T CONTROL IT SO HE JUST LOCKED HIMSELF UP?
I WOULDN'T HEAR ABOUT THAT, 'CAUSE NOTHING HAPPENED. THEREFORE THE ONLY
ONES THAT'D MAKE THE NEWS WERE THE KIND THAT COULDN'T BE CONTROLLED
AND/OR ENJOYED WHAT DESTRUCTION THEY WERE CAUSING, IE MADISON OR FENRIR
GREYBACK.


IT'S BEEN THOUGHT OUT, A*, I'M NOT TAKING THIS DUTY LIGHTLY, Y'KNOW.

Coworker A:HAH, OH BUT WHAT IF THERE ARE VAMPIRES WHO
DONT LIKE THE WEREWOLVES AND ARE TRYING TO FRAME THEM SO THAT THE PEOPLE
WILL HUNT DOWN THE WEREWOLVES AND GET RID OF THEIR PROBLEM? SO IT'S
ACTUALLY VAMPIRE ATTACKS MADE TO LOOK LIKE WEREWOLF ONES.

Me:*SCOFFS* I'D LIKE TO THINK I COULD TELL THE
DIFFERENCE, ALYSSON, HONESTLY. I MAY NOT HAVE THE *PRACTICE* BUT I'M
KNOWLEDGEABLE ON THE LORE ENOUGH TO KNOW.

Coworker A:C'MON, WEREWOLF/VAMPIRE HATRED IS LEGENDARY,
THEY TOTALLY WOULD DO THAT. IM MUCH MORE INCLINED TO BELIEVE A WEREWOLF
IS MISUNDERSTOOD THAN A VAMPIRE. AND VAMPIRES ARE DEFINTLY CONNIVING
ENOUGH TO THINK OF IT AND PULL IT OFF. THEN THEY CAN USE THE COVER OF
THE "ANIMAL ATTACKS" TO FEED AS MUCH AS THEY WANT IN THE AREA, AND THE
HUMANS WILL STILL JUST BLAME THE WEREWOLVES.

Me:*ROLLS EYES* ALL I'M HEARING IS BLAH BLAH WEREWOLVES
ARE PEOPLE TOO.


WHATEVER, DUDE. VAMPIRES ARE JUST AS MALIGNED BY POPULAR CULTURE AND
STORIES MADE UP TO SCARE LITTLE KIDS INTO NOT GOING OUT AT NIGHT AND NOT
GIVING IT UP TO BROODY EASTERN EUROPEAN STRANGERS. URBAN LEGENDS IS ALL.

Coworker A:HAH :P GRANTED THEY BOTH COULD BE TERRIBLY
MISUNDERSTOOD, HOWEVER VAMPIRES, BY NATURE HAVE TO TAKE LIFE (OR AT
LEAST SOME BLOOD) TO SURVIVE. IT'S ONLY IN CRAZY MOLDY RYE-BREAD
INDUCED EUROPEAN LEGENDS THAT SAYS WEREWOLVES EAT HUMAN FLESH. ALL THE
ONES (LIKE ASIAN OR NATIVE AMERICAN) THAT SEEM MORE ACCURATE, DONT EAT
PEOPLE, SO HONESTLY. TRUST SOMETHING THAT IS MORE THAN LIKLEY GOING TO
WANT TO DRINK YOUR BLOOD OR WORSE ALL THE TIME? OR A MAN/WOLF WHO'D
RATHER JUST BE LEFT ALONE TO RUN AROUND IN THE WOODS WITH THE SLIGHT
CHANCE THAT ONCE A MONTH THEY MIGHT WANT TO EAT YOU A BIT?

Me:WHILE IT MAY NOT BE IN THEIR NATURE TO *WANT* TO EAT
PEOPLE, I THINK THE LACK OF CONTROL THAT SUCH A CHANGE WOULD MOST LIKELY
INDUCE WOULD BE ENOUGH TO PUT ANY PERSON IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG
TIME IN A GOOD DEAL OF DANGER, WHEREAS A VAMPIRE ISN'T GUARANTEED TO
KILL TO BE ABLE TO SUSTAIN ITSELF.


I TRY TO GIVE BLOOD EVERY 2 MONTHS, AND HAVE GIVEN 3 GALLONS SO FAR. I
HAVEN'T DIED YET.

Coworker A:YEAH BUT A HUNGRY VAMPIRE ON A BAD NIGHT IS
JUST AS DANGEROUS AS A WEREWOLF (GOING BY THE EUROPEAN IDEA WHICH I DONT
THINK WOULD BE ACCURATE) ON A REALLY BAD NIGHT.

Me:I THINK WE'RE JUST GOING TO GO IN CIRCLES ON THIS.
THERE'S TOO MANY VARYING LEGENDS AND TOO MANY POSSIBLE VARIATIONS OF
EACH CREATURE TO MAKE A DEFINITIVE RULING ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.


I JUST SAY IF SOMETHING POPS UP IN THE NEWS THAT SOMEONE'S BEEN MAULED
OR KILLED THAT IT'D WARRANT INVESTIGATION, AND I CAN'T IMAGINE I'D JUMP
TO ANY CONCLUSIONS WITHOUT HEARING SOME KIND OF WITNESS TESTIMONY OR
TALKING MY WAY INTO A MORGUE TO SEE WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED BY ASSUMING A
LAME CLASSIC ROCK PSEDUONYM AS A COVER.


SO, WE'LL AGREE TO DISAGREE, AND I'LL BE SURE TO CONSULT MY FINDINGS
WITH YOU, IF YOU'RE UNABLE TO COME ALONG YOURSELF THAT IS. DEAL?

Coworker A:hah awesome okay. agree to dissagree until
we can meet some (or find and observe without interacting cause it could
be dangerous :P)


.. honestly we just need to get degrees in cryptozoology and travel
around with this stuff... cause working here is so boring that it's
making us have this debate :P

Me:VERY VERY TRUE. IF WE COULD FIND SOME WAY TO PARLAY
THIS KNOWLEDGE INTO A RESPECTABLE LIVING, THAT'D BE IDEAL.

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